


Pit crew chaos

by CustardCreamies



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 22:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6212860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CustardCreamies/pseuds/CustardCreamies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are challenged to become a Formula One pit crew for a day. This could only end well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pit crew chaos

"Your challenge is" Jeremy says with importance as he reads from the golden envelope "to be the Mercedes F1 team pit crew for the day"

"What?" Richard asks as he leans up to take the envelope "let me see that" he snatches the envelope out of Jeremy's hands and scans the words.

"But we know nothing about being a pit crew?" James asks, looking worried.

"It says here, we're going to be taking over one stop during a free practise session" Richards says "and have training beforehand"

"Right...." Jeremy says "when do we begin?"

* * *

 

When they get to the factory they are greeted by some of the pit crew. They seem a friendly bunch and quickly tell the boys what they'll be doing.

"The driver you'll be pit stopping for today is Lewis Hamilton" the head of the pit crew tells them cheerfully.

James, Jeremy and Richard look at one another.

"How hard can it be?" Jeremy asks.

"Don't say that!" snaps Richard.

* * *

The pit crew takes the boys through the process of making a fast pit stop. The key is quick reactions....which the three of them don't really have.

At one point, when asked to gather the super soft tyres together, they somehow seem to get two front right tyres, one back left and one back right. The pit crew just gives them amused looks.

It's hard and even though it's only training they feel the pressure. It's also physically demanding, timing had to be right, the tyres had to match and everything had to be on in under 3 seconds.

When the time came for them to do this for real. They were worried.

* * *

"I don't think we can do this" Richard says, worry in his voice. 

"It'll be fine! It's only a practice session. At least they're not throwing us into the deep end during a race!" Jeremy says.

"Besides, I think we can do it" James says, "if we stick together"

Jeremy nods "be thankful we're only putting tyres on. Last year the chap that had the job of holding the car got his bits whacked"

Richard pulls a face "thanks for telling us, mate"

* * *

James, Jeremy and Richard were out in front of Lewis' garage. All kitted up in protection gear.

"This feels very Star Wars" Jeremy comments through his face mask.

"I feel ridiculous" Richard mumbles.

They then hear the sound of an approaching car and see a silver Mercedes F1 car coming fast towards them.

"It's time! Go! Go!" Jeremy says as he grabs his tyre in it's blanket and runs out with James and Richard to the car.

The car pulls to a stop and is held by one of the crew. Jeremy quickly runs to the left rear tyre and uses the pneumatic gun to take off the left rear. He then shoves the new tyre on and puts that into place with the gun. Job done he sits back to see that Richard has finished but James is still fiddling with the gun.

"James, what are you doing?" Richard asks.

"Can't get the bloody thing on" James murmurs as he tries to turn it on. The pit crew just look on.

Inside the car Lewis flips up the lid of his helmet "what's going on?"

"A Top Gear challenge" someone tells him.

Lewis sighs "of course" before putting his helmet lid down.

"Come on! If this was a race you'd be fired by now!" yells one of the pit crew.

"Oh great" Richard sighs.

"What?" Jeremy asks.

Richard points "see those? Sky Sports cameras. They're filming this"

Jeremy follows Richard's finger to see the camera pointed right at them.

Lewis also looks and promptly places his head in his hands.

In the end another member of the pit crew takes the gun from James' hands and finishes the job. As soon as the wheel is secure Lewis is allowed to go, speeding off up the pit lane.

"Well...that went as well as expected..." Jeremy says weakly, as the pit crew members just look at them.

"That's not the end of it...you've also managed to put four different tyre compounds onto Lewis' car" one of the crew says angrily.

"Is it time to leave now?" Richard asks.

* * *

And that's how Sky got coverage of Lewis suffering the worst pit stop in Formula One history and the gleeful audio of Nico Rosberg laughing his head off when his mechanics inform him over team radio just what happened to his teammate. 

**Author's Note:**

> Very cracky piece of writing here, still helps with writers block. Please Kudo/comment. :D


End file.
